I am participating in a “blog share”.  It goes like this:  

My husband and I agreed before we got married that we would split chores evenly. Specifically, my husband would vacuum, do the dishes, and take out the trash. I would clean the bathrooms, do the laundry, and keep the kitchen clean. We would divide other chores as needed.

In actuality, I sweep and mop the kitchen. I vacuum. I load and unload the dishwasher. I handwash the things that need to be handwashed. I pick up my husband’s clothes and put them in the laundry. I wash and dry the laundry. I fold the laundry. I put away the laundry. I clean the bathrooms. I wipe down the kitchen counter. I dust. I sort and answer the mail. I make sure the bills get paid on time. I throw away the trash my husband leaves lying around the house. I put everything that my husband takes out of the refrigerator back in the refrigerator. I do all the recycling. I take out the trash from all the bathrooms and the office. I water the plants.

My husband takes the kitchen trash and puts it in the big bin in the garage.

He doesn’t put a new trash back into the empty kitchen trash can. I do that.

He doesn’t even take the big bin out to the curb on garbage day. I do that.

On an average day, my husband leaves for work 30 to 60 minutes after I do, and he gets home from work 2 to 3 hours before I do. Most days, he is home 3 hours more than I am. However, I do every single thing around our house.

I have talked to my husband about this politely. I have talked to my husband about this when I am incredibly angry.

He says he is sorry. He says he’ll make an effort. It has been years, and I have not yet seen any effort.

I have told my husband that I need him to do something specific (ex: clean the guest bathroom), and I need it done by a certain time (when our guest is due to arrive). He won’t do it, and then I have to clean after the guest arrives.

I have told my husband that when he doesn’t do anything around the house, it is disrespectful, it hurts my feelings, and it tells me that he doesn’t care about me. He still doesn’t help.

I have stopped doing any housework to see if he will step in, but he doesn’t. Our house just gets really gross.

This isn’t the worst problem in the world to have, but it makes me resent my husband, and I don’t know what to do.